My husband gained my hand in marriage by pretending to be a Christian man of the same values and beliefs as I. I had survived a domestic situation not 4 years before I met Stuart and had a successful landscape company, and worked as an Analyst for a big power company temp to perm. I had just located a huge amount of lost equipment that was going to make corporate very happy. I paid my own bills, bought my own car, lived alone in a small but clean apartment. I was grateful to God for my life . Including the trials which I still had but I realized “thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me” in the 23 Psalm, meant true love is unconditional and I will never be perfect but my Father let’s me know when I’m getting big britches and His correction is His Love. Be better. To serve His good purpose.
Stuart saw an outgoing confident successful Christian looking for companionship and became who I wanted. Even after full DISCLOSURE of medical, psychological, criminal history, recovering alcoholic, PTSD- from me he insisted we were perfect compatible and he loved me couldn’t imagine life without me and pressed to marry.
I met his mom, Ann who told me the abuse she suffered at Stuart’s father’s hands and how her kids left her crippled in filth unable to clean by herself anymore. It was true I had to get onto Stuart to mow his mom’s yard, clean anything, and he had said he lived with her to aid in her care for FREE.
Ann said she’d be my mom and I was family. She told me she was scared of Stuart’s temper and antisocial behavior and felt a prisoner herself. I didn’t realize she was being literal.
The day after we wed 11/3/15, my boss fired me to claim credit for my success and keep her job. She stated I had attendance issues which was a lie (we made our own hours) I told Stuart and I awas crushed and ashamed. Stuart seemed to check out and moved into the guest room to play video games. He was Unavailable in every way and I was depressed and alone. I caught Stuart cheating w an ex in California (over a video game at first). Chatting about my feelings and sadness making him uncomfortable instead of talking to me..
He told me he wasn’t cheating he just needed someone to talk to and again I was baffled. On Christmas Day 2015, she texted a bitter holiday greeting and I told him to hand me the phone which he did. We were cuddled in bed watching a movie. He was stuttering and begging me not to call her but I did. Lisa told me to “discuss it with my husband ” when I said what are you doing with my husband. She knew he was married.
About then Stuart rallied and lunged his body (3x bigger than me) on top of me and wrested the phone out of my grip fractured my wrist and deformed my lower vertebra along w sciatic pain. I was bedridden by pain and shock that he’d done that but he said it was an accident. I think I clicked over to PTSD because it never crossed my mind to doubt him or call 911.
It was an accident. After that he was out late, came home smelling of other women or soap, and maintained his love for me was true and he hadn’t cheated or betrayed me. Stuart agreed to go to Samaratin counseling center where his therapist explained the betrayal and Stuart said he saw how that could crush me (feel conned) and he made a short burst effort to do chores and be the man I married but every 3 months after I found out about another betrayal. I couldn’t get up to breathe much less heal my heart with his wall of lies.